


if it were only the stars we had wanted to conquer

by politicalmamaduck



Series: Deora ar mo chroí: Reylo and Irish Mythology [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, English Colonization, F/M, Irish Mythology - Freeform, Reylo Fanfiction Anthology, Selkie AU, Selkies, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-15 03:07:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8040058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/politicalmamaduck/pseuds/politicalmamaduck
Summary: Amid a backdrop of persecution of magic users and First Order colonization, Kylo Ren discovers a powerful fellow magic user named Rey on a mission for his master. There is more than meets the eye with Rey's magic, however, and she longs to understand her true calling. Yet her fate is inextricably bound with his own.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Written for "Keeping the Stars Apart", the 2016 Reylo Fanfiction Anthology project. Title taken from Audre Lorde's poem "Fishing the White Water".

 

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there were many legends on many different planets about both the maidens of the sea and those who were able to use what was known as magic.

Both of these groups of beings took innumerable forms on different planets; there were various local legends about different kinds of magic, and few in the galaxy had not heard of the near-mythical Jedi Knights: those who honed their magic to a specific purpose and cause. Other magic users, distinct from the Jedi, were the maidens of the sea, called _selkie_ in Basic. They were skinchangers, fey folk; whether their true self was their human form or their seal form, no one could tell. They could take a human husband if they so chose, but these love matches were ill-fated, believed to end in the death of both partners.

Most beings believed the selkies to be just another myth, much like the angels that were said to live on one of the moons of Iego. However, magic users were well known throughout the galaxy, though rare. Many of those who could use magic became devoted to the Jedi Order, though that group in recent years has been all but destroyed.

We now live in a dark time, where those with special or magical abilities have gone into hiding. They are persecuted by beings who cannot bear those that are different than them, who are jealous and afraid of that which they do not understand. Much has been lost in this climate of fear throughout the galaxy.

This is where our tale begins.


	2. Chapter One

The girl was incredibly strong with the magic of her people, even if she did not yet know nor understand it.

She was a child of the deep cerulean waters and of the magic therein, of the beautiful water-women that could change their shape at will, from human to seal and back, as long as they had their pelts.

She had been taken away from her people, her family, and her magic, abandoned on a world so unlike the sea. The dry heat of the desert where she lived ate away at her soft skin and her soul.

Yet she waited for years for her family to return for her, growing older, becoming a strong fighter, eking out a meager existence so that she could survive one day more and see her family again. She knew nothing of the true nature of the powers she held deep within herself, other than she needed to guard her pelt with her life, to guard it wisely when she took it off and used her human form, to let no one know of its existence nor of her true self. She could remember her heart racing, her senses going into overdrive when she was but a young girl, before she had created her small home, when she had just a bag of few possessions on her back, her pelt tucked inside. She had set her bag down for a moment, just a moment. When a fellow scavenger attempted to pick it up, she dropped everything she had gathered and had attacked the interloper before she had even realized what she had done.

...

When he was a boy, he loved to hear his mother’s tales of his ancestors’ voyages through the stars and also of the great order of knights, puissant warriors, who saved the galaxy from destruction and kept peace and order throughout. The Jedi Order had been destroyed before his mother had been born. Few understood the nature of the power of the Jedi, and they deemed it sorcery, an ancient religion that had no place in a modern galaxy, or a conjurer’s cheap tricks and sleight of hand.

He had become a Jedi now, in a sense. What he had learned made him more powerful than the heroes in his mother’s stories. He could do things that they had never even dreamed of (that he himself had never dreamed of) before he destroyed the boy he had been and became the man he believed he had been born to be.

He knew how the people he had once loved ( _but they never loved him_ ) viewed him now. A monster, evil, a user of dark magic. He knew he would have been cast out of his family and his community even if he hadn’t chosen to leave. They had abandoned him when he was a child, leaving him to fate’s dark whims, so consumed with their own paths and their own destinies, fighting the galaxy’s fights rather than their own.

He would choose his own path now, make his own way, and destroy anything— _anyone_ —that dared to try to stop him.

...

The woman named Rey worked long hours in the heat and the dust of the world called Jakku, searching for the strength to go on. She could never put on her pelt and utilize her true form; the air was too dry and there was no water to be had in the desert. She longed for a world of greens and blues, with deep waters in which she could find balm for her soul and become her true self.  She could barely remember what it had felt like to put on her pelt and change her shape; she knew that she could, but the theory of the magic behind it was unknown to her. In her dreams, she saw an island, surrounded by a deep blue sea. She could hear women singing; the harmonies in their voices were like nothing she had ever heard before. Every morning she awoke alone, short of breath in the dry heat, searching for the strength to go on, hoping each day that someone would come and offer to take her home.

The man named Kylo was listless. His master had ordered him to continue searching for pieces of a map that would lead him to a special world where the natives held great power and magic. They guarded their magic and their secrets well; his master wanted to know if the ancient legends were true and to use these beings for his own purpose. Kylo did not particularly understand why his master was so interested in beings that for all intents and purposes did not exist, but he would not criticize or challenge his master. Thus Kylo sought to accomplish his own aims on the way to the desert planet of Jakku, where his master had sent him to investigate a rumor regarding a piece of the map.

Kylo spent hours meditating, seeking a clarity of purpose. He lit a black candle in his private chamber, staring intently at its flame as he sought to honor his ancestors and gain wisdom.

It wouldn’t be much longer now.

...

Sound echoes and carries in the desert.

Rey could hear the unmistakeable sound of a ship arriving and landing, even hundreds of kilometers away.

 _Why would a ship be landing in this part of the Goazon Badlands_ , she wondered. She knew there was a small village of survivors of an inter-planetary disaster over the ridge. The ship, however, sounded like it had landed closer to her, far off from the village, whose inhabitants kept mostly to themselves.

Rey grabbed her staff to set off and investigate. Maybe, after all these years, her family had finally returned to bring her home and were looking for her.

...

Kylo Ren’s distinctive shuttle landed on the desert planet of Jakku, far off from the village of refugees known as Tuanul, so hopefully they would assume the passengers of the shuttle would head to Niima Outpost. He planned to take them by surprise, obtain the piece of the map he needed quickly, and be on his way, on to better missions before he returned to his master.

Rey saw one black-clad passenger emerge from the shuttle and head in the direction of the village. She had made good time in arriving to where the shuttle had landed, but she knew she had no chance of reaching the village before the mysterious visitor did. She had a bad feeling about the new arrival, who clearly had not come to Jakku in order to take her home. Strangers in thick black robes did not often arrive on Jakku and certainly not to visit the refugee village. Minding each step carefully, she followed the stranger toward the camp.

He was making impressive speed for one who was clearly not from Jakku, despite his heavy robes. Clearly, he was not afraid of a scavenger attempting to pick a fight with him nor of the swirling desert winds.

She struggled to keep her breath as she raced to follow him.

When she arrived at the village, he was having what looked to be a heated discussion with one of the leaders, asking for the elder Lor San Tekka. Rey didn’t recognize the name, but she knew that nothing this dark creature wanted from the refugee elders could be good. She crept behind a row of huts, keeping her profile and her staff low. She kept her eye on the conversation in the center while she tried to ascertain what this man could possibly be looking for from an old  refugee with scant worldly possessions.

She was creeping behind the next hut, keeping her focus on the situation in the center of the village, when she suddenly became aware of someone behind her.

She turned, slowly, to face whoever--or whatever--it could be, clearly displaying her staff and attempting to remain calm.

She was faced with an older man who appeared to have a gentle and peaceful demeanor at first glance. Rey knew that he could be hiding anything in his sleeves and so did not let down her guard. The old man shook his head, placing a finger to his lips, and gestured for her to come along. She moved tentatively towards the confrontation in the center, gesturing with her staff. He shook his head again, gesturing with his hand for her to come with him again, more forcefully this time.

She looked into his eyes and saw peace and a bone deep weariness from a hard life in the desert and from escaping the destruction of his home so many years before.

She took a deep breath and quickly and quietly followed the village elder towards his home at the edge of the village.

Still keeping silent, he promptly urged her into his hut. As soon as they were both safely inside, she quietly but aggressively asked, “What do you want from me?”

The elder looked at her softly, then spoke.

“My name is Lor San Tekka. I have been charged with guarding something for many years, and the dark figure you saw has now come for it.”

She started to speak, but he gently silenced her, and taking her hand, tucked a datastick into her palm.

“Be safe, my child,” he said. “Now run.”

…

Kylo Ren was growing impatient with the old fools’ excuses. The elder woman to whom he was speaking was droning on about the history of the village, their home planet, and how they had come to Jakku. No amount of touching her mind with persuasion allowed him to find the man for whom his master had been searching for many years. His master had forbidden him from utilizing his powers on this particular mission, preferring stealth and diplomacy, which would leave no magical traces behind. He continued to pretend to pay attention to the woman and kept his eyes behind his visor trained on possible escape routes from the village, all his other senses alert. His energy and posture were coiled, ready to strike at any moment.  

And then all of a sudden, he caught a glimpse of a lithe young woman, absolutely filthy and clothed in desert garb, stealing away from the village. He dropped all pretense of paying attention to what the old woman was talking about and immediately reached out with his magic, attempting to stop or slow her. She was too far away already, but not too far away for him to realize that she was a powerful magic user herself. She practically shimmered with untapped magical energy.

He stalked off after her, ignoring the chaos erupting in Tuanul behind him.

...

She knew, somehow, that the masked menace had seen her silent escape from the village. She assumed that he would know that she had taken what he wanted and would pursue her. She could not go home yet, but when she had left earlier to follow him, she had not packed enough rations for a long expedition. She would have to go home eventually, but hopefully she would have lost the black robed stranger by then. She decided to head towards one of her recent scavenge sites with which she had not yet finished, to at least attempt to trade some parts for portions before she headed back home.

...

He had never felt a presence like hers before. He knew instantly she was capable of great power and that she was unaware of her true gifts. She did not belong on this world, that was certain; he had to find her and the piece of the map he was sure she had found and stolen.

 _I could teach her_ , he thought. She would be a valuable asset to the Knights of Ren.

 _Where had the girl gone?_ She couldn’t have made it far on foot, he knew, but the ever-shifting sands prevented him from following her trail.

He closed his eyes and reached out with his mind, searching for traces of the girl’s magic that he knew she must have left behind. He could still feel her presence, and visualized it as a grey-blue shimmering mist that was fading away by the minute due to the sands and the heat.

He set off in search of where he felt her magic to be strongest. He had to find her.

 

She was the sea trapped in the desert, and he was fire contained in earth, dissipated by the cool caress of metal ships and weaponry.

He could feel a strong blast of power the minute he stepped over the threshold into her dwelling. She had turned a downed Imperial AT-AT into her home, and he noted her resourcefulness as a scavenger, building her own tools and gadgets from what she had available to her. He could feel her magic swirling around him, and he knew that she had never used her power; she was just that powerful. She would make a formidable ally or foe; he had to see to it that she became the former rather than the latter. His master would be displeased with how long it was taking for him to obtain the map to the women of the sea.

She clearly had not yet returned to her dwelling. He decided to wait for her until at least nightfall, when it would be cooler and he could travel under the cover of darkness.

And then he noticed a curious object, buried under a pile of scraps of fabric and cloth, tools, and various spare parts.

Moving closer, he could feel her magic even more strongly. It was centering around this object, and he could feel the puissance in shimmering waves, as if daring him to come closer.

It appeared to be a fur pelt. It was silky and soft to the touch and was the size of an adult human.

 _Where on earth did she get this, and what is it_ , he thought, running his hands along the edges. The pelt seemed luminescent in the dimming desert light, its color almost an exact match for how he had visualized the girl’s presence. It called to him, the way the kyber crystal that formed the heart of his lightsaber had called to him. Whatever this object was, it clearly had magical properties. He caressed it one last time, then placed it gently in his small pack, alongside the few things he had carried on his person for this mission. He had not expected to need anything, and he would examine the strange fur later. 

 

…

Rey was patiently biding her time, staying near the outskirts of Niima Outpost where she had a clear view of all the comings and goings, hoping the dark monster had departed in its shuttle by now. She was tired, and she knew she would need water soon, but she did not want to head back home just yet.

She noticed a fellow scavenger approaching the outpost with their day’s haul and noticed that they appeared to be shimmering. _That’s strange,_ she thought. _I’m not experiencing any of the other symptoms of dehydration or heat stroke_. She felt fine, no worse off than usual, and then she felt a strange tug from behind her navel, as if compelling her to walk forward.

_What in all the stars could be happening to me?_

The compulsion to walk forward only grew stronger as she tried to fight it, her mind racing through possibilities and plans. She knew that this had to be connected to the dark stranger from the village. She attempted to sit in the sand, planting her staff at her side and grasping it until her knuckles turned white, but her attempt was futile.

She found herself enveloped in a stream of magical energy. The world grew even warmer around her, and then she was gone.

...

Kylo Ren was growing impatient waiting for the mysterious desert woman to return. Patience had never been one of his strong suits, much to his master’s endless displeasure. His master had sought for him to learn to commune with other creatures, to utilize animals such as ravens as familiars in his magic, like the great warriors of old, but he only ever succeeded in causing the birds to caw at him, begging for more food.

He turned to examine her few possessions more closely, and then he realized he could feel the presence of strong magic, unlike anything he had ever felt before, even in the presence of his master. He closed his eyes and stretched out with his senses, and he could see the shimmering blue-grey mists circling and becoming more corporeal. He opened his eyes and, suddenly, the woman herself appeared before him.

She looked to be as stunned as he was by her sudden materialization inside her home.

There was no chance for either one of them to speak before she swung at him with her staff, which looked to be as tall and heavy as she was. She seemed to slip out of his grasp, like the oil that clung to his ship no matter how much water he used to clean it. His father’s hands had nearly always been slippery with oil when he was growing up, from long hours repairing his ship after each and every voyage-

Kylo Ren snapped back out of his brief reverie, twisting away from the scavenger’s staff. He could not afford a distraction now, and he had long since abandoned any familial ties. He had to subdue and take this girl away from this desert wasteland. He had to train her. Her magical potential was far too strong. She had managed to manifest herself in her home, something he had never seen nor heard of any magical user having the power to do before.

Her home was far too small for the way they were fighting. As she continued to swing at him with her staff, all but a few of her belongings were knocked to the floor.

She snarled at him, attempting to twist away from his hands.

 _Good_ , he thought. _Use your anger. It will only make you more powerful._

The energy and magic dripped off of her, fluid and evanescent, much more strongly than it had been before.

As they continued to fight, he managed to step outside her small home, allowing them more space. He reached out to the magic swirling around and surrounding them, and with a small hand gesture, caused the scavenger to faint and collapse into his arms.

 _Finally_ , he thought. He made sure he had his pack with her strange pelt with him, and began to carry her back to his shuttle.


	3. Chapter Two

She awoke a few hours later while they were in the black blur of hyperspace, the stars streaming by like laser pulses around them. He knew she was disoriented when she awoke, trying to recall all that had happened to her. He wanted desperately to ask her how she had magically materialized inside her home, although he knew it had confused and shocked her too.

She approached him from his small bedchamber, where he had placed her while she was unconscious. He had visualized her magical energy signature as a powerful grey-blue mist on Jakku, and he could still see it now, even more strongly in her vicinity.

“Where are you taking me?” she demanded, as if he owed her an explanation of anything at all. He took several moments before speaking to her, wishing to tread carefully. He could not afford for the ship to crash while they fought again, if it were to come to that. He needed to return to his home base, the ship known as the _Finalizer_ , in order to make contact with his master to tell him about the girl and her magic. He needed to know how she had gotten the map from the old man.

“You’re my guest,” he said, and gestured to the chair next to him. “Please sit and make yourself comfortable.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” she snarled back at him, nearly shaking with her anger. “Why did you kidnap me, and where are you taking me?”

“You are incredibly strong in the magical arts, and you need a teacher,” he finally replied.

“Magic? What do you mean by magic? Why should I believe anything you say after you stole my belongings and took me away from my home?”

He could see the anger coursing through her magic, practically leaking from her. The anger would make her more powerful, but for now he needed her to be calm and listen. She had to understand, to learn. _He had to train her_.

“I am Kylo Ren, master of the Knights of Ren, an ancient magical order,” he said, trying to speak firmly yet gently. _Calm down_ , he thought, and whether he meant himself or the girl or both of them was uncertain.

He began to explain to her, slowly and haltingly, saying, “We have sworn allegiance to my master, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, a powerful magical being.” He continued to describe his master’s plans to bring peace to all of the galaxy’s far-flung star systems, saying, “Only by teaching and training all magic users can we bring order to the galaxy.”

He then recounted his master sending him on the mission to Jakku and why he had been attempting to retrieve the map he knew Lor San Tekka had given to her.

“This map is key to my master’s plans, though I do not know why. I feel that we should concentrate on bringing what Jedi, or those who think they are Jedi, are left to our side rather than looking for mythical creatures that may or may not exist.” He looked at her through his mask, trying to convey his true intentions to help her rather than harm her.

“What is your name, and how did you come to use your magic?” He tried to speak gently through his mask’s vocoder; he could not allow her to see his face.

She stared blankly at him. “I don’t know anything about magic,” she said, shaking her head. “My name is Rey, and I don’t want anything to do with you and your master and your magic. Take me home.” Her fists were clenched and he could tell she was trying to push through her exhaustion and her fear, but he could feel that she was beginning to realize there were magical currents surrounding them and flowing through them. He wanted desperately to help her feel those waves the way he did when he closed his eyes, their power and capacity. He could imagine her being swept up in a blue-grey wave the way he had been, and reaching for it, bringing it in and sending it back and using that incredible potential.  

He could feel her aura growing stronger, yet uncertain.

“Don’t be afraid,” he said. “I feel it too. You are stronger than you know, and show so much promise in the magical arts. I will teach you, once we return to the command ship. It won’t be long now,” he continued, gesturing at the chronometer and the dials near his shuttle’s controls. He continued to attempt to engage her in conversation for the remainder of their journey but she remained sullen and taciturn, slumping down in the copilot’s chair with her arms crossed over her chest.

...

All she could do now was wait and look for an opportunity to escape once they arrived at the larger ship he had mentioned. She was sick to her stomach from nerves and anxiety, the adrenaline wearing off after waking up in a strange place with no memory of how she had arrived there. She was exhausted too, her muscles aching from the efforts of running away from the village of Tuanul and then fighting Kylo Ren off when she had magically materialized inside her home. Her thoughts were racing, she was trying desperately to both remain calm and not show her fear while also trying formulate a plan for escape. They landed in a docking bay of a huge starship, bearing a very strong resemblance to the wrecked and scavenged Imperial Star Destroyers on Jakku, much sooner than Rey had been hoping.

“Welcome to the _Finalizer_ , Rey,” he said, and she glared at him, but was compelled to follow him, past patrolling stormtroopers and officers in red trimmed capes who seemed eager to give them a wide berth. “I will arrange suitable quarters for you. In the meantime, you will be sharing mine.”

_So he’s not going to leave me alone, not even for a moment. Kriff_ , she thought, and then he turned back to her, startling her. “Come, let’s get something to eat, you must be hungry after such a journey,” he said, and she realized all of a sudden that she was, in fact, ravenous.

To her surprise, after a nearly silent meal, he did leave her alone in his quarters, which were on the ship’s aft side, very far from the main command bridge.  

Rey was used to the blinding light and heat of the desert. Space was cold, clinical in its lines,  and predictable.

She was cold for the first time in her life. She couldn’t stop shaking, even curled up with her arms around herself. She had never been on a ship like this before. It was dark; the sounds of troopers endlessly patrolling the hallways echoed in a way similar to yet distinct from the desert. Even so, the silence after they had passed by was eerie.

She tried to calm herself down, to center her thoughts and concentrate on her breathing as she had done so many sleepless nights in the desert. She imagined a planet full of green and water, of women singing and calling out to one another, flitting in and out of the water onto beautiful rocky beaches.

It was Rey’s own personal paradise in her mind, and the world she created for herself there never ceased to calm her down.

She took a deep, steadying breath.

While she was concentrating on her breathing, Kylo Ren entered her space. She could sense his presence next to her, and strangely, she found the magic emanating from him to be quite soothing. Despite the fact that he had kidnapped her, he had mostly left her to her own devices aboard both his personal shuttle and here and had not attempted to physically restrain her in any way. The man was still a mystery to her; he also had yet to remove his mask in her presence, not having eaten with her. He seemed an implacable rock next to the ocean of her emotions, so different from their confrontation on Jakku and when she had awoken on his ship.

She continued to try to meditate, steadfastly ignoring him.

“I appreciate your efforts to ignore me,” he stated, and she stifled a sigh and an eye roll. “But it will be better for you if we work together. I can help you find the peace you seek and teach you better meditation techniques. Come with me,” he said, offering her a hand to help her up from her seated position on the floor. This time she did roll her eyes, although she accepted his proffered hand.

...

He took her to a room not far away, at the back of the ship, where it was quieter. The room was filled with many different kinds of stones and crystals and lit only by various candles.

“What is this place?” she asked.

At first, he was hesitant to explain his sanctuary, how he attempted to seek the spirits of his ancestors and learn from them, to connect with his own magical powers, which were not connected to any objects the way hers were. He had realized that her usage of her magic was tied directly to her strange pelt; she was much stronger and fluid in her aura when the pelt was nearby. She was feral in her anger and untapped potential; he wanted to be the one to tame and hone her nascent magical energy. He thought that meditation would help and he wanted to see which energies she would be drawn to and which would be drawn from her.

She settled down in the middle of the room and closed her eyes as he instructed her to do. “Let it flow through you,” he said. “The magical energies are in everything. They surround us and connect us; they bind the galaxy together.”

He watched her take a deep breath and saw the magic flowing through her and around her as before, powerfully fluid and rippling.

...

She followed his instructions, reaching out with senses she had not known she possessed. The air seemed to hum with an unseen current, one that had always been there, but that she had never noticed. Her eyes were closed, she was not truly present, yet she felt she could see and _feel_ everything.

Now she could understand what he had meant by magic. She could feel him too, standing at the entrance to the room, watching her. His energy glowed red and orange and crackling, so different from how she saw her own.

She was unsure if hours or merely minutes passed before he spoke again, calling her out of her meditative state.

“That was good,” he said, watching her. “We will continue with your training tomorrow.”

That night she dreamed again of an ocean, a beautiful green oasis in the middle, with a deep dark forest and women singing. She saw seals flitting in and out of the water and coming up on the beach, and she awoke with a start, feeling bereft and as though she needed to weep. Her heart ached for the sea even though she had only ever seen it in her dreams. But something whispered at the back of her mind, saying _it calls to you. Remember, Rey, who you truly are. These are your first steps._

She got out of her bed in the small room that Kylo Ren had procured for her close to his own quarters and the even more secluded meditation chamber he had taken her to.

She was grateful that he had provided her with some privacy; though she was no longer unnerved by his physical presence, the man was still a mystery to her. She wanted desperately to see the face behind the mask; she could tell even with her limited understanding of magic that his aura was troubled, that he was struggling with something he wished desperately to keep secret. For an obvious user of dark magic, he had done nothing untoward that she would have expected since he abducted her on Jakku.

She was confused and uncertain.  Sitting on the cold floor in her dark chamber, she crossed her legs underneath her and attempted to meditate, seeking clarity and a pathway through her troubled mind and roiling emotions.

She went back to bed when her breathing had slowed and her center was calm, though a shadowy figure crackling with magical energy remained in her dreams.


	4. Chapter Three

Thus the days passed with Rey aboard the _Finalizer_. She never saw anyone other than Kylo Ren; she assumed her presence on board as another user of magic was a closely guarded secret. Her days formed a routine; all her meals were shared with the masked figure, who never took any refreshment in her presence. They spent hours in training each day, practicing meditation and sparring in several training rooms, in both hand to hand and sword combat in the mornings, then a break for a midday meal. In the afternoons, he usually attempted to help her hone her magical abilities. He began teaching her to reach out with her mind, move objects, and attempt to read the minds of others.

Rey made an effort numerous times to ascertain more about the ship she was on and its mission. She knew it belonged to the First Order and that Kylo Ren and the ship’s general, Hux, were often at cross purposes and did not agree about his usage of magic or how Kylo chose to interpret his orders from his master, but when she attempted to broach the subject with him, he only complained that the General was an unimaginative fool who neither understood nor appreciated the ways of magic. In Kylo’s view, the General sought only to brutally colonize new star systems rather than working with the natives to develop order. Hux tolerated Kylo’s attempts to find other magic users, but thought that his personal objectives often interfered with their Supreme Leader’s orders to colonize planets.

“Come, Rey,” Kylo said. “Let’s try something new today.”

He took her to one of their usual training rooms and, after setting a small droid up, handed her his lightsaber. She stared at it in her hand, shocked that he would hand over what she had assumed to be his most important possession. Its weight was solid in her hand, and it felt slightly uncomfortable, as if it knew it was in the hand of someone other than its master. She ignited it, jumping slightly as it hummed and the power coursed through her like an electrical current. She adjusted her stance as she swept the blade back and forth, and he made a sound that she thought might have been a stifled laugh. He stepped over to her, holding a helmet with the blast shield down, and gently set it on her head.

“Reach out with your feelings, Rey,” he instructed. “Let the magic flow through you. You must learn to defend yourself, even when you are compromised. You will be able to see more clearly without your eyes, hear more strongly without your ears. Don’t think, just feel and react.”

She tried to nod, and the helmet wobbled on her head.

Her heart began to race as she heard the droid moving around, and she consciously told herself to be calm. She reached out with her magical senses.

_Feel, don’t think. You are one with your magic, the weapon in your hand is an extension of your arm. You can do this, honor the warriors of old._

There was a voice inside Rey’s head.

_You are one of us,_ the voice continued.

_These are your first steps. We are all so proud of you. Trust your instincts, Rey!_ said another, younger voice.

She could hear distinct voices flowing through her head as she moved to block the droid’s first shot. She could almost imagine spectral figures watching her, cheering her on, encouraging her to learn the ways of magic.

_But can I trust him_? she asked, hoping that he could not hear her thoughts, that he was concentrating on watching her battle with the droid as she turned and spun around, blocking two shots quickly in succession.

_You must_ , one of the voices, an elder woman, told her. _This is the way your path has turned, whether it was chosen for you or not. He is yours, and you are his, and you are bound by the magic now._

_I’m afraid,_ Rey whispered back to the elder woman’s voice _. I don’t belong here on this ship. I want to go home._

_The world that you have known is not your home_ , the other voice told her. _You belong here, with us. You will find your way home someday, but there are things that you must learn_.

_I will learn_ , she thought and promised. _I will learn, and then I will find my way away from here and return home with that knowledge_.

She was startled out of her mysterious conversation by the droid turning off. She had, somehow, managed to block every shot while talking to voices in her head and unable to see.

“That was impressive, Rey,” said Kylo Ren from across the room. She took off the pilot’s helmet to see him coming towards her. “Very well done, particularly for your first time. You have very powerful magic at your disposal and you’re a fast learner.”

She was shaking now, barely able to take in his words.

“Kylo,” she said, hesitantly. “Do you ever, when you’re practicing magic, hear voices?”

He tilted his masked head towards her, as if considering her in a different light. She was frustrated by her inability to see his face or penetrate his thoughts.

He stretched out his hand towards her, and suddenly she felt enveloped in a presence she could not explain. She felt warmer, as if a fire were nearby or she had been wrapped in a blanket.

She felt something brushing against her mind, and she delved inside herself, closing her eyes.

_Rey._

_Was it like this?_

The warm presence was inside her mind, radiating outward. She recognized his magical signature, but couldn’t believe it.  

_How are you inside my head?_ she thought back at him, opening her eyes, and he shook his head.

_Feel, don’t think. Only powerful magic users can use this skill. You have been sent visions for a reason, Rey, and we must determine why. Has this ever happened before?_

_Not exactly like this._ She had never had a conversation in her head before and now she was having two within the space of a few minutes. She was quickly becoming overwhelmed and frustrated.

_Why didn’t you tell me sooner?_ At this his voice in her head sounded plaintive, as if he were saddened by her choice not to tell him all of her inner life.

_You kidnapped me. How could I know that I could trust you? In all this time, you haven’t even shown me your face. I was fighting for my life on Jakku, being hunted by a creature in a mask!_  She practically shouted this back to him, forcefully pushing him out of her head and opening her eyes once more with a start and step backwards.

He had crouched down on the floor in the training room, and suddenly he stood up to his full height and unclasped his mask, tossing it to the floor beside him.

She openly stared at him, completely surprised to see a young man before her, with milky pale skin, full lips under a long nose, and dark waves of hair like the mythical wings of a bird an old fighter pilot had told her about.

He was handsome, in an unusual, penetrating sort of way. His eyes were dark and sad. They made him look far older than she knew he could be.

“Tell me what you saw,” he said, holding his hand out to her once more. “Don’t be afraid, Rey, I truly mean you no harm.” Now that she could see his eyes, she knew that he was speaking in earnest.

She shook her head, saying only, “I don’t want to talk about it right now, Kylo. But thank you for showing yourself to me.”

With that, she picked up his mask and handed it back to him, then quietly left the room.

He stared after her, wishing he had known the right thing to say.

That night he went to sleep, thinking of her, of the way she had looked at him, and how she was not reviled by his face without the mask, and how he had disobeyed his master.

_She’s just a girl, she means nothing to you._

_She’s so beautiful and so powerful. No one else has ever understood._

Thinking of her gave his mind a respite from its usual turmoil; it distracted him from the migraines and various nightmares that had plagued him since he was a boy.

_He looked up and the girl had disappeared._

_Blood coated his hands, sweat dripped down his back. There was chaos all around him. The distinctive sound of blaster fire permeated the air and screams alternated with the shots. Ahead of him, to the northwest, a line of native beings chained together at the wrists and ankles marched to the gallows, where they would be executed for various crimes: treason and sedition; rebelling against the First Order; organizing a workers’ union; speaking their native tongues rather than Galactic Basic._

_Prior to this incursion, the penalty the First Order had instituted for speaking an indigenous language was having one’s tongue removed. For economic organizing, being docked a week’s pay. Previously, only fomenting rebellion and fighting the imperial troops had merited capital punishment, according to their rule._

_Operation Starkiller had destroyed the once vibrant, green planet filled with singing and tales of magic and caused a massive famine._

_Now it was destroying the very life forms they had supposedly sought to provide with order._

Kylo Ren awoke with a start.

Since Operation Starkiller, he had been plagued by recurrent nightmares of the battle, of the natives who were slaughtered as he watched, red beams tearing them apart. He had been against the operation from the start; the First Order had not been ready to colonize such a world, with a difficult terrain full of bogs, forests, and unyielding rain, in addition to natives who would rather die than submit to their rule. He wanted to focus on searching for the remaining Jedi and other magical beings, and had begged the Supreme Leader for guidance. But General Hux and his weapons had won out, bent on galactic domination and bringing the Resistance to heel.

He took a deep breath, and looked above.

_Grandfather, help me_ , he thought. _Did you have to deal with this too? Did they listen to you? Obey your power and instincts?_

But his grandfather never answered. His ancestors had been lost to him when he had left his family and joined the Knights of Ren.

He turned to his side and attempted to sleep once more, focusing his thoughts again on the girl, who had finally given him the focus that he sought. He decided it was time to tell her more about the Supreme Leader’s plans and the missions he had been given. With her magical talents, he could conquer any planet, bring any number of magical beings to their side. They would be an unstoppable team working in tandem, and his heart began to race at the idea of spending the rest of his life with her. The Supreme Leader would be pleased; his patience would be rewarded.


	5. Chapter Four

Rey awoke the morning after she had heard the voices telling her to trust her instincts and learn, intent on focusing on her training with Kylo Ren that day.

She was startled out of her intense focus while running drills through her head, to see her companion seated at their table, maskless, with a bowl before him. She stopped in the doorway, staring at him, until he looked up.

“Is everything okay, Rey?” he asked.

“You-- you’re not wearing your mask? You’re eating with me?” she asked back, stumbling over her words in her surprise.

The corner of his lip twitched in what she thought might have been his version of a smile.

“Yes, Rey,” he responded, with a hint of dry humor. “What is done cannot be undone, and you have already seen my face without the mask, so I saw no point in continuing to wear it.” He gestured at her usual chair, and she sat down across from him, reaching for an apple from their server droid.

Around bites of her apple, she asked, “What did you have planned for us today? I would like to continue training.” _I will learn. I promised_.

He looked at her as if newly taking her measure. “Since we had worked on your magical powers yesterday, and you did so well, I had thought we could work on more physical training today. You seem very capable with your staff and a sword; I would like to see you train with other weapons as well. You never know the sort of situation that will approach you in combat.”

She nodded and grabbed a bowl of warm ground meal, like his own, and sprinkled it liberally with sugar. Since she had been introduced to food other than survival rations, she was greatly enjoying the selection of fruit and other sweet provisions that he had been providing for her.

After their quiet meal, they adjourned to the same practice room as the day before. Kylo handed Rey a blaster which felt much heavier in her hand than it appeared. She examined it as he said, “It’s a standard First Order issue blaster rifle. All of our troops are trained to use them from a young age. A very basic weapon, but even the most basic weapon will save your life if need be.”

She took the safety off and he ignited his lightsaber, which startled her. She looked at the saber and then at him.

“You--you don’t want me to shoot at you, do you?” She stumbled over her words again and mentally cursed at herself. Why was she suddenly incapable of proper communication around him?

He made his small quirk of a smile again, shaking his head and causing his hair to ripple around him. “Yes Rey, I want you to shoot at me. Don’t go easy on me. Imagine I am your enemy across a battlefield. Close your eyes.”

She closed her eyes, and suddenly she was in fact on a battlefield. Stormtroopers surged from behind her, rushing forward to meet ill equipped beings with a variety of weapons, none wearing armor. There were bodies falling everywhere around her and screams echoing through the trees. She looked down. Her body was not her own; she was seeing through Kylo’s eyes, she realized. She gasped and pulled herself out of the vision she hadn’t even realized he had been showing her.

“That was real?” she asked. “You were in a battle like that?” She was shaking and felt as though she needed to throw up the breakfast she had just enjoyed. She crouched down to the floor, holding her stomach.

He quickly walked over to her and put a steadying hand on her shoulder, which she smacked away.

“Rey,” he said, but she interrupted him immediately.

“Don’t touch me. How can you support an order that murders people like that?”

“I tried to stop it, Rey,” he said, standing back up and holding his hand to his forehead as if to ward off a headache. “I disagreed with the decision. The Knights of Ren had no business being there, that was not our fight. We seek to find and recruit users of magic throughout the galaxy; the colonization of that planet was Hux’s personal project. I told them it was too soon but they didn’t listen to me, as usual. The Supreme Leader is wise, and I must trust him, but that was not my mission.” His voice trailed off, as if he were lost in thought.

“I see that same scene in my dreams almost every night,” he said softly, sounding much younger and like a lost child. “It was the first thing that came to mind to show you a battlefield. I am sorry,” he said, turning to leave the room.

“Wait, Kylo,” she said, stunned by what he had said. She never would have guessed that he was haunted by dreams just like she was, that the masked menace she had seen on Jakku was in fact a troubled young man who clearly did not completely believe in what he was being told to do by his master.

She was trying to process all of this information and he was walking away from her.

_What does all of this have to do with the map he was looking for on Jakku?_ she wondered as she ran to catch up to him and grab his hand.

“Kylo. Wait,” she repeated, more forcefully. “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”

He looked down at the hand she had grabbed and she thought she could see a trace of tears in his eyes.

“You don’t need to apologize to me,” he said. “You are right.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

He looked at her, blankly. “You are right. I don’t want to support an order that doesn’t listen to my input, that slaughters magical beings instead of training them, whose most powerful general doesn’t even believe in what our powers can achieve.”

He slumped over, passing his hand up to his brow and through his hair. “But I have no choice; it is too late for me. And I need to complete my training with the Supreme Leader. He is wise and if I prove to him that I can train you, then maybe next time he will listen to me.”

Rey looked at him, shaking her head. “It’s never too late, Kylo. You clearly are a powerful magic user and you don’t need your Supreme Leader to teach you to slaughter innocents. Let’s go. You can take me home to Jakku, and then you can continue to look for other users of magic to learn from and to teach.”

She was praying to any type of spirits or gods that she had ever heard of from various star pilots that he would listen to her, that he would abandon the horrible influence of someone who would command his troops to massacre unarmed beings in such a way. She could see conflict running over his face and she knew that her intuition had been correct: he had been struggling with this for quite some time. She reached out with her magic once more and felt his aura roiling with emotion. She looked back at the man before her, who seemed to be a completely different person from the dark menace she had first seen and been terrified of, stalking through the sands of the Goazon Badlands.

And then her lips met his before she even realized what she was doing. She was not inexperienced in the ways of love, per se, but her encounters had been limited to fumbles in tents with visiting star pilots on Jakku. Love had never entered into it for her, and she had thought that it would never be a possibility, alone as she was. She was not sure if she would call this love either; she was still angry with the man who had taken her away from her home. But she had trusted her instincts and her feelings could not, would not, be denied.

They kissed, and she ran her hands through his hair, luxuriating in the feel of something so soft under her hands, the color such a contrast from what she was used to. Nothing had been soft or dark on Jakku; everything had been bleached, harshened and cracked by the sun.

She had her right hand on his cheek, gently stroking it with her thumb. His skin was so pale compared to hers, unharmed by the fierce sun that had been her constant companion.

He opened his eyes and smiled at her, the first real smile he had bestowed upon her since she had met him. It was perfectly endearing.

She smiled back and kissed him again, enjoying the pressure of his mouth on hers, one hand around her waist and one in her hair.

He gently broke away from her kiss, bringing her hand to his lips, and then led her to his quarters.  

...

This was not what he had intended when he had first seen her on Jakku. He had desperately wanted an apprentice, to prove himself worthy to his master. But that clearly was not what had happened between them.

She was an ocean, sweeping him off and carrying him away regardless of the direction he had wanted to go.

He moaned as she ground her center onto him, his wrists pinioned above his head by her hands. She was strong despite her slim figure, and the fact that she was pinning him down just excited him all the more. His eyes were closed as he tried to savor each sensation, each feeling, seeking out beyond himself and towards her, body and soul. The magical energy surrounding them was palpable.

She relinquished her grip on his wrists, moving her hands down to his sides in order to lean into him more closely. He reached out to her with his hands, and she leaned into his touch. He stroked her sides, loving the feeling of her lithe body under his hands. He cupped her breasts, squeezing gently and thumbing her nipples.  He smiled when she moaned, clasping his hands in her own.

“Rey,” he murmured, looking up at her. She grinned, biting her lower lip, and nodded at his unasked question.

He sought out for her aura and found her reaching out to meet him as well. Her magical presence was as soft and inviting as her skin, and he wanted to dissolve into both.

Moving his hands to her lower back, he softly flipped them, holding her and placing her tenderly on the bed, her head on his pillows. He traced his hands down her chest to her stomach, then began to remove his heavy tunic and boots. She was stretched out before him on the bed, looking at him through her eyelashes, completely satisfied to watch him strip his clothing for her.

After he had tossed his tunic to the floor, she leaned forward, placing her palm over his heart, feeling the energy centered there.  She then slid her hand down his chest, tracing the outline of his abdomen.

She looked up at him, and he felt as though his heart would burst. He leaned down to kiss her, and she held him to her tightly, running a hand through his hair and entwining her legs around his waist.

He nuzzled her earlobe and murmured to her that she was beautiful, everything he had ever dreamed of.

She smiled again, almost wickedly this time, and reached to unclasp his pants.

He guided her hands and shrugged his pants down to the floor with the rest of their clothing, then returned his attention to every detail of her body: to the gentle curve of her hips, to her strong, long legs, to the way her breath caught when he kissed her outer lips, then worked his way inward, with both his tongue and his finger.

She cried out, opening her darkened eyes and breathing, “Kylo, please,” and he nearly lost control, feeling the rush of her emotions as well as his own.

He entered her, as gently as he could at first, and then their pace quickened as she rocked her hips, encouraging him.

Their bodies fit together as perfectly as their auras did, their hands joined together, and they both let the swell of emotions overtake them.  

...

“Kylo,” she breathed, curled up next to him. He caressed her arm and, without knowing why, he shook his head above her.

“Ben,” he mumbled. “My parents called me Ben after a great warrior they had known who fell defending them in battle. I chose the name Kylo when I was accepted as a knight of Ren.”

“Ben,” she murmured, turning over to him and stroking her fingers through his hair. “It suits you better; I like that,” she said with a smile.

He kissed her gently, cupping her chin and sighing, relaxing into her arms.

They fell asleep entwined around each other, both finally having peaceful dreams.

Rey’s odd pelt, which Kylo had hidden in his personal chest in his bedroom when they arrived on the _Finalizer_ , pulsed with magical energy, as if it too were sighing, relaxing and stretching out inside the chest. Their fates had been bound together in the space of a moment back on Jakku, whether they had wished it or not, and its power was finally satisfied.


	6. Chapter Five

As he meditated the next morning before beginning his katas, he realized he had never felt more at peace than he had with the scavenger woman called Rey in his arms. In his childhood he had never ceased to be tormented by his magical abilities; his master had trained him, taught him and honed his powers, but even when he felt most powerful and in control, he had felt empty inside, like a vessel that was meant to be filled. Now, he knew the contentment that he had sought in his meditations and in his attempts to commune with his ancestors.

To think that it was to be found in another person all this time. And one with such strong magical energies surrounding her at all times, with or without her curious pelt.

There were so many questions that he needed to ask her, and he saw that they would have to answer them together.

But he had finally found the contentment that he sought and he breathed deeply, sinking further into his meditative waves.

...

All her life, Rey had longed to understand why she had been abandoned as a child; she craved understanding, of both herself and the power she knew she possessed in her pelt but did not know how to use. She felt, somehow, that these things were closer to her than they had ever been yet remained just beyond her grasp, as a mirage in the Goazon Badlands would ensnare many a weary scavenger.

And then there was Kylo, or Ben. He had come to trust her, she knew. Not just trust, but something deeper that she did not want to admit to herself that she knew. He had, most unwisely, left her alone and unattended with his lightsaber.

It was now or never.

She felt a twinge at her heart knowing that in all likelihood this datastick contained a clue to her own past, to the source of her own magical power. To finally know the truth, to finally _belong_ somewhere was what she had longed for since her arrival on Jakku all those long years before.

But she could never allow the Supreme Leader to terrorize entire planets and persecute magical beings, to force them to use dark magic rather than the pure light. She had been terrified of her own power and she would not let that happen to anyone else.

Taking a deep breath and steadying herself in the center of her magical energy as he had taught her, she ignited his lightsaber and made a clean cut in the datastick, right down the middle.

Taking the halves into her hands, she hid them deeply into her pockets to be disposed of later.

She closed her eyes and stretched out her mind with her magic. She found herself being pulled towards a chest in his quarters, one that seemed to hum with a hidden magical current. It felt familiar and comforting to her, like she imagined a mother’s arms would feel. It embraced her and drew her in.

She opened the chest slowly and carefully and found her pelt on top of some books and documents on flimsiplast.

_My pelt, of course_ , she thought angrily. _That explains why I had to follow him and why I showed up inside my home. He had my pelt the whole time._

She took it out of the chest, embracing it reverently and holding it to her heart. Her pelt was warm, despite the chill of space, and it felt as though it was embracing her back, responding with magical energy.

_A beautiful, brown haired and sad eyed woman embraced her daughter. She wore a dress of diaphanous silk that flowed with every movement. Two pelts lay nearby, one approximately the woman’s size, the other much smaller. Their home was modest yet comfortable._

_The waves crashed against the rocky shore, spraying sea foam everywhere. The skies were dark as if vengeful and angry._

_“They are coming. They will find us,” said a white haired and dark skinned woman, wearing a pelt as a cape and holding a gnarled walking staff in her hand._

_Mother and daughter walked together from the shore to a waiting ship._

_Heat and blinding white light await them. Sand, without a trace of water._

_“I’ll come back, sweetheart. I promise.”_

Rey could scarcely breathe. She could see the magic swirling around her and her pelt, embracing her, calling to her. She could see the island and the ocean and the women who lived by the water.

And then she was gone.

...

He returned to his quarters, eager to speak with her about the people and the culture of the planet they were soon to visit, to begin planning their mission, only to find her gone.

_Where could she be_? he wondered, and reached out with his magic, seeking the magical residue with her signature that always remained long after she had left a room or fallen asleep.

But there were no traces of her anywhere. He took a deep breath, trying not to panic, and fumbled within his robes and pulled out his comlink and put the ship on alert to look for her.

Then he noticed the open chest that he had carefully stowed away, with his few private and personal possessions inside.

Where he had hidden her strange pelt that he had taken from her home on Jakku, which also appeared to be missing.  

And then he realized what had happened, who and what she truly was.

He ignited his lightsaber, and his world was a vicious swirl of black and red and the smell of burning metal and ozone around him.

He screamed through his mask and then fell to the floor as the world rushed to meet him.


	7. Epilogue

There had long been rumors, tall tales told throughout the galaxy by hardened deep space pilots, of mystical beings on many of the thousand and one moons of Iego. Angels, sirens, and all manner of legendary species were said to reside on one or another of the moons.

What turned out to be true was not that of the angels, but of the selkies--the women of the water long hunted by the Sith, then the Empire, and now the Knights of Ren and the First Order. They had made their abode there over millennia of persecution and had not yet been discovered in truth. They continued to exist in legend, such that even the powerful Jedi did not believe they truly existed, save for one person alone, who could not reach them.

The woman called Rey had been reborn to her tribe on this moon, a beautiful sea world with beaches both rocky and sandy and deep, dark forests to find fulfillment in the ways of magic. The high white cliffs were heated by the sun, as were the waters where the selkies felt at home.

She whispered his name into the waves, into the dark blue-green sea. His true name, of his true self, not of the dark, vengeful horror he pretended to be.

_Ben_ , she whispered into the deep dark waves of the sea, the way she had caressed his name into his hair.

_Ben._

_I have come home_ , she murmured.

_You could conquer the stars, but never truly my heart. When you find me, I will be waiting._

**Author's Note:**

> Many, many thanks to my brilliant collaborator [handbubbles](handbubbles.tumblr.com) for the tremendous art that perfectly exemplified this piece.  
> Also many, many thanks to my beta Desiree, my best friend Amanda, and my fellow mods for the Reylo Fanfiction Anthology project for their love and moral support. A particular thanks to Mods Jen, Mneme, and Briar for being my Anthology editors!  
> You can see everything I created and utilized to write this piece, including its matching mystery moodboard and a playlist [here](politicalmamaduck.tumblr.com/tagged/selkie-inspo)!


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